Wednesday, January 13, 2016

January Birthday's Rock!!!!

Happy Birthday to my Husband Greg!! Hope you're having a great day and counting down the days until our baby boy joins us!! I could not resist posting the picture of G when he was little. So curious to see if Landon will look like his daddy, SO CUTE!!!!!!
                        
My birthday is next weekend and Landon is due on the 27th, so we shall see if we can indeed rock the month of January all together!! 

Monday, January 11, 2016

Life Lately

A whole lot of baby prep is still going on! We are literally weeks away from our baby boy making his debut and in traditional style things are crazy as usual. Work has been insane, make that downright ridiculous, you can read all about the joys of that here. My original plan was to have everything ready to rock and roll by the beginning of December so I could rest and relax and possibly do things I have been wanting to do, like scrapbook or binge watch some shows. HA HA HA! However in real life that's not how it goes. For every 2 steps forward we take a step back, literally. We have worked hard to clean and declutter our tiny bungalow, with no storage space and then the holidays hit.

The holidays were great, but we both worked through them and we didn't even get a tree this year. Christmas is my favorite holiday, but the reality of busting out a whole lot of decor and tearing it down just seemed so pointless this year..... For real!  We also didn't do a party for Lights in the Heights or host family Christmas at our house so who were we trying to impress? Christmas was still grand and how can it not be? It's the celebration of Jesus's birthday, which is what the holiday is all about, not a stupid tree and decor. It's getting together with loved ones and celebrating him. I must say I felt special being pregnant during Christmas carrying our baby boy and celebrating such a special gift during such special holiday! 

We got to see a lot of family and friends over the holidays as well as spend a lot of time together as a couple and that is honestly so much more important than having the nursery perfect, reading pregnancy books or just sitting around waiting to pop. We are always busy and on the go, no doubt this baby will help slow us down..... hopefully. We just feel so lucky to have so many friends and family that care about us.

Right now I keep getting asked if I am ready to have this baby and yes I am, but I'm not in a rush to get him out. He will come out when he is ready, not forced. I have really enjoyed being pregnant and I am still enjoying it. It's truly a miracle. I have honestly had a pretty easy pregnancy, no morning sickness, not feeling miserable and complaining 24/7.... but before anyone gets all up in my grill, this is technically my second pregnancy and the first one was a nightmare that I would not wish on anyone. It literally reminds me of the Sex and the City movie -

Carrie Bradshaw: What makes you think something bad is gonna happen?
Charlotte York: Because! Nobody gets everything they want! Look at you, look at Miranda. You're good people and you two both got shafted. I'm so happy and... something bad is going to happen.
Carrie Bradshaw: Sweetie, you shit your pants this year. I think you're done.

Maybe it has been easy for me because the first round was horrible and God wanted to give me a break? Sure I have problems sleeping at night, heartburn from hell, hands go stiff at night and my joints hurts all over my body, but I am focusing on how blessed we are versus complaining about it. Regardless I am not out of the woods yet, he is not even here so that could be an event in itself, but I pray it's not. In fact I will take all the prayers I can get from here until D day!

I have really been on the go and hope to start really slowing it down, but it's hard. I am so used to being everywhere for everyone, which is why it was so nice of my best friends came to visit me over the weekend and brought us frozen dinners for us to have when the baby is born!! I cannot tell you how much it means to me that she did this for us, she is literally the sister I never had and is always there for me!! Even more awesome, she is having a baby boy just months after me!!! Beyond excited for us and our baby boys to grow up together and feeling so lucky we can share this together!
                  
Had to take a picture before I pop!


                Also this morning I heard about David Bowie's fight with cancer....So sad.
RIP Goblin King!! 
                       
                                                
2 weeks and 2 days left, for now I am just trucking along...... We are tying up loose ends around the house, working our butts off at work, about to celebrate our birthdays and just waiting on Landon's arrival! Life is good!!! 

Friday, January 8, 2016

Pregnancy and the Workplace

Hello! Today is all about pregnancy and the workplace....and a little venting!
We were so excited about telling family and friends that we were expecting, but I wish I had waited to tell my workplace. While things should have been great and while you would expect people to be happy for you, that's not always the situation. At least not for myself, if anything I have been constantly having to defend myself even here recently.
Defending the fact that I can still do my job, defending the fact that I will come back to work after, defending myself that I am not looking for a new job, defending myself on not even pulling the pregnancy card about anything. I never bring up my pregnancy or say that I cannot do something because I'm pregnant. I haven't even called in sick once because I am pregnant........ but the rumor mill just keeps on turning. Since when did pregnancy start to be looked at as a handicap? A person can only take so much defending and not in my finest moment I finally snapped a few weeks ago because it's just getting ridiculous! With all of the other stresses of life plus work, why am I having to defend myself on daily basis about anything??? I know for a fact people are not asking my husband, "Hey Greg are you coming back to work after the baby is born or are you going to become a stay at home parent", yet I get it on the daily. Can we say #sexiest 

While I could chalk it all up to a generational thing, I'm just not sure anymore. My generation works hard. Like I said before we were all focused on getting degrees, getting jobs, getting married and then starting families. Which is why so many have problems even trying to start families, were all having babies at a later age........ Then we still have to defend our work ability on top of that???? Some days I felt like my job maybe didn't want me to come back, but here lately I can see that's not true at all. In fact they are going to be super short handed when I go out because I am ALWAYS a team player, I literally went to Austin this week for work and I'm due in 3 weeks. Again, I NEVER pull the pregnancy card which is why it's infuriating when people make up stories or just assume things. 

 A friend sent me the most perfect article which you can read here. I had explained to her the constant frustration/anxiety about all of these questions/rumors about my own pregnancy in the workplace. While there are a million things I need to worry about I never thought that having to defend my own pregnancy would be such a huge deal. The woman who wrote this article hits the nail right on the head, at least for me! 

Also while I am on a tangent, I would also like to add that while most people have no filter, making negative comments about someone who is pregnant also very unessasary. Someone at my office told me I looked awful a few weeks ago and to thank I said thank you jerk!

On a much lighter note today is Friday and I have a sweet great divide pint waiting for me in my freezer! Peace out and have a great weekend friends!


Monday, January 4, 2016

2016!!!!

#AñoNuevo #Inspiración al máximo para todos en #MaxMovil:
Hello 2016! Time literally fly's by..... We spent our New Year's Eve at home this year and were both in bed before midnight LOL! Thanks to some gutsy people popping fireworks in our neighborhood and my pregnancy bathroom schedule I was able to wake G up for at midnight for a kiss and to tell him Happy New Year, then we fell back asleep. This year was so much different than last years New Year's Eve partying, but we were so okay with it. Baby is not even here yet and we are already tired!
Last year's NYE!
This year's NYE! ;)
Annual New Year's Day dining at Liberty Kitchen. However, they did not have my black eye peas and cabbage at all this year. Talk about disappointing!!! The past 2 years have been pretty awesome so if anything goes wrong this year, here's looking at you Liberty Kitchen!!!! Your mac and cheese softened the blow as usual though. 
Cheers to the NEW YEAR!!!! 


Thursday, December 31, 2015

Christmas 2015!

We had a great Christmas this year!! We got to see a lot of family and friends over the month of December which is great considering we are not sure when we will see a lot of people next month! As wonderful as 2015 has been we are so ready for 2016 and meeting our new bundle of joy!!! We are literally counting down the days until he decides to arrive!!! 


This year's Christmas card!

Christmas Eve!

Christmas Day! 
Cheers to the NEW YEAR!!!!! 

Friday, October 16, 2015

God brought me back

Morning and HAPPY FRIDAY! Before I get into today's post I would just like to thank you for the comments, emails and texts I got yesterday after I posted. I was apprehensive about posting such personal information, but I thought it would be good to share especially if that meant reaching others who could also relate. It really meant a lot to me read such caring and uplifting messages on what was a pretty tough day reflecting/sharing. So thank you very much!

Today's post is about how I moved past everything, the best I could. I cannot lie, I really started to question God because I could not see past all of the pain, which was hard because this all went down during the Lenten season. A season on penance and reflection. Talk about a conflicting time and being tested. Sure I have faith, but I was so focused on all the "whys" that I really struggled with believing God was on my side. How could he let this happen to me, I really struggled with this question/s. I had many moments of anger with him, I was hurt and confused. I still went to church, but sat in the back pews, cried and would light my candle before I left, but I still didn't think he was listening. 

I could have chosen to ditch everything I had ever believed in, but my faith is important to me and knew this was a test. His plan is always much bigger, I just need to have faith! I was still apprehensive about his plans, but I started praying all the time, for God to listen to me and help me through all the dark days. Once you hit the bottom, you can only go up. I started praying for myself, people who had helped me through recovery, new friends I had met online on the UK ectopic site who all were struggling. Day by day I started to feel a little more at peace, letting God know that I was leaving it all up to him and his bigger and better plan for myself and my family. We went on a little family beach getaway and for the first time in months I was able to relax. I walked the beach each morning talking to God letting him know that I still had faith in his plans, apologizing for getting so upset, etc. For the first time in a long time I felt like my old self and really felt at peace with everything. Little did I know he did indeed have a plan! God really does work in mysterious ways. 

The last thing on our minds was having baby too soon and knew that when the time came it could go 3 ways......nothing could happen, I could have another repeat ectopic (will always have a 50/50 chance) or it could possibly get stuck in another place or a miracle could happen. While we were away on vacation, God was blessing us with a little miracle and we had no idea it was happening! It's like he waited for us to become ease and let go of all the pain and start enjoying ourselves again without worry. We just needed to trust him.

The day I found out I was pregnant with Landon I was terrified, what did we do, is this going to turn into another emergency, etc. After a few weeks we learned that not only was he in the right place (the uterus), he had also come from the left tube. MIRACLE!! 

While there are so many things to complain about during pregnancy, I just can't. I have no reason to. He is the biggest blessing ever and we cannot wait to meet our miracle baby! We are so very lucky and blessed to be given this opportunity and so thankful.

I truly believe God wanted to help turn things around, no matter how mad I got at him, he was listening. He had plan, but just like life I believe we are all tested at times. I am not saying that this works for everyone as everyone has different religious beliefs, but this is my story and this is what happened to me.

My 24 Week picture from this past weekend! 
I was in a friends wedding and so was Landon! :)

Thursday, October 15, 2015

The topic of Ectopic

Today I am breaking the silence. Before our little miracle baby we are currently expecting, we had something unfortunate happen at the beginning of the year. Today I'm sharing the story of our angel baby in hopes that this might find other people who have experienced the same thing or help give anyone else a little hope on what seems like a dark road. 

While I normally keep this blog pretty light, today I am getting super real and sharing something super personal (warning- very personal). Today just happens to be Wave of Light Day, as October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.   What a great time to share something that has been so difficult to keep inside, hence why today I am breaking the silence. I have a multitude of emotions today as we are so excited about our bouncing baby boy coming in January, but my heart is still heavy for our angel baby we lost in February. The year started out pretty normal, Greg and I had just gotten married in November. Work was getting pretty busy and I was on the go as usual. With that said I started to notice a little irregular bleeding, but I shrugged it off as my body trying to get back to normal after all the wedding hype. However before a work trip I could tell things were a little off, the week after I went to see my doctor, only to discover that I was pregnant and had no idea. She ran a blood test and with my current conditions, she thought that I had possibly had a miscarriage. I was to come back for more blood work on Friday. That day was a blur, I called my husband and was in shock/upset/scared, etc. How did I not know that I was pregnant? I went back on Friday for more blood work and got a call that evening that my results were not back in yet. I learned a lot about HCG and Progesterone in a 2 day time period. The nurse told me that it could possibly be an ectopic pregnancy and that if I felt any pain over the weekend I needed to go to the emergency room. WTH??????

To say that we went through the weekend on pins and needles is an understatement. Late Sunday night my stomach started to feel a little weird and throughout the night I moved from our room back and forth to the spare bedroom trying to get comfortable. After googling symptoms I could not quite fully self-diagnose myself and thought it could all just be nerves and being the hard head I can be, I decided I needed to get to work because I had a major proposal to get out, even though it hurt to sit, drive, or walk. Once I got to work I realized how dumb I had been and left to see my doctor. I showed up right before they opened and let them know that something was not right and I needed to see my doctor ASAP. Greg also came to meet me and tried his best to keep calm. The nurse took me to a room right away and within minutes the doctor came in to do an ultrasound. Within a few minutes she saw all she needed to see, I was bleeding a lot internally and she confirmed that I was in fact having an ectopic pregnancy and that I needed to get to the hospital ASAP. She would meet us there for emergency surgery. Just when I thought things could not get any worse, here Greg was now rushing me to the hospital for emergency surgery. I was afraid and upset, in just a few days it was just too much to process. I was wheeled to the ER where I had to have another ultrasound, then hooked up to an iv, dressed in a gown and before I could even blink I was telling my husband goodbye as they took me to pre-op, where all I could do was cry. I laid there waiting and crying to any nurse that came to check on me and no amount of morphine could calm my nerves. It was a nightmare, but I was wide awake waiting for the unknown.

What is an Ectopic Pregnancy?
(from Web MD)
A pregnancy in which the fertilized egg implants outside the uterus.

In a normal pregnancy, your ovary releases an egg into your fallopian tube. If the egg meets with a sperm, the fertilized egg moves into your uterus to attach to its lining and continues to grow for the next 9 months.

But in up to 1 of every 50 pregnancies, the fertilized egg stays in your fallopian tube. In that case, it's called an ectopic pregnancy or a tubal pregnancy. In rare cases, the fertilized egg attaches to one of your ovaries, another organ in your abdomen, the cornua (or horn) of the uterus or even the cervix. In any case, instead of celebrating your pregnancy, you find your life is in danger. Ectopic pregnancies require emergency treatment.
Most often, ectopic pregnancy happens within the first few weeks of pregnancy. You might not even know you're pregnant yet, so it can be a big shock. Doctors usually discover it by the 8th week of pregnancy.

I woke up in recovery just as anxious as I was before and had to wait for my doctor to fill me in on what all went down. I bugged the nurse a million times and after what felt like hours I was taken to my room where my parents and Greg were waiting for me.  
I was lucky, my doctor was able to save my right tube. Time was on my side and my right fallopian tube had not burst. Still trying to process it all I would like to say I handled this with some composure, but I didn't. I was sore, very sad and felt empty. I went to a pretty dark place. I did not want to see family and friends, yet still had a lot of obligations! I did not want to do anything social, I was sad and alone. I felt really alone. I was out of work for an entire week. There were days I threw myself pity parties and cried until I couldn't anymore making me feel empty and numb. Who could possibly understand what I was going through? I could not stop thinking, why me, why now? Has anyone I've known gone through this? Why don't people talk about this? What are gods plans for me? How could I possibly bring this up to anyone? Everyone has something going on in their life, there was never the right time to talk about this or bring it up to anyone. 

Weeks later I threw myself into work to keep busy, I met up with friends and attended our social obligations. It was hard, but I did it, life moves on whether I want it to or not. I asked God for prayers all of the time, but was he even listening to me? I still felt the pain regardless. One of my friends sent me a few links to join a few discussion boards. I was a little apprehensive at first, but before I knew it http://www.ectopic.org.uk/ became my new friend. It was nice to chat with other women who had gone through similar experiences. Day by day it helped put me at ease about so many unanswered questions I had, like how could I not know I was pregnant, what was in store for me down the road, etc. Yet at the same time it really opened my eyes to how many woman struggle with getting pregnant in general and it's heartbreaking.  We (women) go through our young lives trying not to get pregnant, we go to school, have obligations, get into our careers, get married etc. Then when it's time to start trying here come all the problems.  If you know anyone who has gone through an ectopic or anything pregnancy related please send them this link. It was the most helpful place I could have ever imagined and has a major support group of woman from all over the world. 

I would like to thank The Woman's Hospital of Texas. Everyone I came into contact that day was kind and caring, doing their best to make me feel at ease. I'm beyond grateful and going through all of this makes me feel at ease about delivering Landon there come January!

Tomorrow I will share part 2 to my story, the lighter side of this and speaking of light, tonight at 7pm starts the Wave of Light where everyone is invited to light a candle. By keeping your candle lit for an hour you will be participating in a worldwide Wave of Light!
Sending lots of hugs to all the angel mommies and baby dust to all of you who are trying to conceive!